Lance Boompants, commonly known as 'Lance', is a goblin assassin who spends most of his time hanging around in shady corners in Orgrimmar, looking for dodgy work to do.

Lance Boompants
Bilgewater Cartel, Horde


Lance is almost always seen wearing his black-purple and grey armour, with a Bilgewater Cartel tabard over the top. He also wields two longswords, usually seen sheathed on his back . He has grey-black hair in a ponytail, with some strands of hair covering his nearly-bald head, and some long sideburns of the same colour. He has smallish pointy ears just curved at the top, as well as bright purple eyes. He also has a small black-grey beard around his chin and just below his nose.


Lance Boompants was born on the isle of Kezan, like most, if not all Bilgewater Cartel goblins. His parents were Janet and Javier Boompants. Not much is known about Lance's childhood, other than his mother had dozens of secret affairs with other men on Kezan, as well as Lance's father having dozens of secret affairs with other women on Kezan. Lance's dad's job was as an engineer. Javier trained Lance in this profession, though, like most goblins, Lance ended up blowing almost all of his inventions to smithereens. The ones that didn't blow up were sold or thrown away. {C}As Lance got older, he joined his dad in business selling all sorts of mad inventions that had no use other than to be eventually blown up.

One day, as he was smoking a cigar outside of his shop, he witnessed a goblin assassin jumping from a roof and killing a rich-looking goblin wearing purple clothes of expensive material and carrying a large, diamond-tipped cane. Lance approached the assassin and asked if he could show him how to do that. The assassin began to train Lance in the ways of the rogue, including sneaking around, fighting with a blade in each hand, being agile, picking locks and so on. Lance grew up to be a rogue himself, and his skill in creating things that eventually blow up helped with his smoke bomb-making and just bomb-making in general. {C}But soon, all that would change drastically...

On the day when a footbomb was kicked into Mount Kajaro and made it go 'kablooey' (as quoted by Boompants himself), he was given a final test by his mentor: assassinate Trade Prince Gallywix. He knew this would be a very dangerous task, the ultimate mission, and if he made just one tiny mistake, he could get killed, imprisoned, tortured, anything. But Lance took the mission anyway, and using his stealth skills, managed to sneak his way into Gallywix's palace. Lance knew how he would perform the assassination, and so hid in a food crate inside the palace. But that was Lance's mistake. He hid in there for ages, until there was a massive earthquake from the volcano eruption, and Gallywix's plans were made to enslave goblins on his ship after paying all they could to escape Kezan.

A small group of hobgoblins were sent to take food supplies and anything else they might need on the trip to Azshara from Gallywix's palace and load them onto the Trade Prince's ship. One hobgoblin picked up the crate Boompants was in, and unknown to him, was carried along to Gallywix's ship. After ages of waiting and waiting, Lance jumped out of the barrel, but landed in water and not stone. He swam to shore on the Lost Isles, and the other goblin survivors there explained to him what had happened. Now fed up and filled with no confidence at all, Lance was assigned by the other survivors to be a scout and spy, scouting through the wonderland jungle of the Isles, looking for any other living things on the island apart from crabs, fish and the occasional parrot.

Lance did manage to find the pygmies, a small tribe of gnome-like barbarians. As described by Lance, 'Just like if you mixed a troll with a gnome'. Lance defended the Town-In-A-Box from the pygmies, but had no big role to play on their time on the Lost Isles, he was just another gear in the factory, another fart in the wind. When they met Thrall and the orcs, Lance was one of the first in line to get off the island. They were taken by ship to Durotar, the orcish desert land named after the warchief's father, Durotan. Lance, with many other goblins, made their way to Grommash Hold, with many of the 'more important' goblins such as Sassy Hardwrench explaining what had happened to Garrosh, about Kezan blowing up, them crashing on the Lost Isles, being rescued by Thrall and the orcs and defeating Trade Prince Gallywix. After Garrosh accepted the Bilgewater Cartel into the Horde, Lance went to Orgrimmar's newly-made Goblin Slums, and stayed there for a long time while the Bilgewater Harbour was constructed.

Once it was, Lance got a job in the Bilgewater Battalion as one of their soldiers, fighting against the naga invaders in Azshara, but found that he didn't enjoy the job that much. He decided to take a zeppelin to the Eastern Kingdoms to see if he could find a job there. He didn't find a job in Undercity (and he didn't want to, either, since apparently it smelled too bad), and so he took the teleportation orb in the Ruins of Lordaeron to Silvermoon City, the home city of the blood elves. He went to the Wayfarer's Rest Inn, and got a job as the bartender there. After months of working behind the bar, dealing with drunks, madmen and other insane people coming into the bar, Lance was fired after 'accidentally' poisoning someone's drink.

Since then, he has become an assassin once again, hanging around in dark corners in places like Bilgewater Harbour and Orgrimmar, looking for work or people to assassinate, steal from, or do anything else related to the rogue ways. He can currently be found in Orgrimmar, sitting in a shady corner in the Wyvern's Tail. Or the Goblin Slums.

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